Anger - When is Anger a Problem?
Since anger has both positive and negative attributes, it is hard
to detect when it is becoming a problem. Anger becomes a problem when it
is too intense, too frequent, lasts for too long or when it leads to
either verbal or physical aggression. Consider the following:
-
Frequency
- There are
circumstances that understandably make people angry. This
happens time to time and hopefully not too
often. Some examples may include hearing an outright lie about
yourself that aims to undermine your integrity at work
or finding your car damaged in a car park. The problem starts
when relatively mundane and predictale incidences begin to
make you angry, such as peak hour traffic or your partner's usual "bad"
habits. In these situations anger serves no purpose.
- It
is important to separate appropriate anger from anger that is
unnecessary and inappropriate. If you notice that you are
getting angry on a regular basis and minor things make
you upset, there is a high likelihood that you are getting
angry too
much.
-
Intensity
- Anger has many
different levels. Acknowledging and reflecting on moderate level of
anger is relatively easy. However, as the
intensity of
anger increases it becomes progressively more difficult to
think clearly and behave rationally. Intense anger
interferes with rational judgment and almost always leads to
impulsivity.
- If you frequently regret things you did or
said when you were angry, it is likely that your anger level is too
intense. Different
strategies can help reducing the intensity
of anger and provide you with better functioning.
-
Duration
- Anger is
maintained by thinking. When something makes you angry, your first
thoughts are reactions to an incident and in
most cases
these thoughts are justified. However, as time passes anger related
thoughts become unnecessary and
should give way to
problem solving. When you are unable to disengage from angry
thinking, the feelings of anger (including
the physical
tension that accompanies anger) are maintained.
- If you notice
that you relieve an incident (and your reaction to it) over and over
again, it is likely that you artificially maintain
your
anger. People who have the tendency to prolong their anger often
automatically dwell upon upsetting experiences and
engage in
angry thinking. The risk is creating a "simmering" mind set that
pre-exposes people to experience anger more
easily.
-
Aggression
- The link between
anger and aggression is well established. Especially when anger is
intense, it can lead to either physical or
verbal
aggression.
- Aggression is most likely when the anger is
intense. It is considerably difficult to remain self-aware and
think about a
situation rationally when our anger is at
its high point. This is the time when we may act on impulse, driven
by our feelings of
frustration, hurt
or injustice.
Anger is fueled by thoughts and behaviours. We may develop a tendency
to react too quickly to relatively mundane events, we may be unable to
observe our thoughts and become intensely angry, we may "simmer" and have
anger related thoughts most of the time and we may lash out at times we
feel angry either verbally or physically.
If any of these
problems is present, it indicates that your anger is not managed well
and your functioning may be compromised. To learn about anger management
strategies and what anger management is, go to the next page.
